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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25468060">hate everything // markhyuck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/clinomaenia/pseuds/clinomaenia'>clinomaenia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, M/M, bits of dotae, bits of nohyuck, bxb - Freeform, lowkey changed the story a little cause I’m not satisfied, markhyuck, markhyuck to feed my deprived soul, me ranting about too much yumark, nohyuck being too cute for my heart, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:13:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25468060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/clinomaenia/pseuds/clinomaenia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuta steals Mark from Donghyuck.<br/>And Donghyuck can’t do anything about it. <br/>So he blames himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan &amp; Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Mark Lee | Nakamoto Yuta &amp; Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. had</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>" you really think you are jeno?"</p><p>that smirk on his face.</p><p>his arms folded.</p><p> </p><p>"haechan, listen to me-,"</p><p> </p><p>"no, no.</p><p>i heard that when i asked you about</p><p>daniel too,"</p><p> </p><p>"haechan, please-,"</p><p> </p><p>"then lee minhyung, explain this,"</p><p>his voice threatened the olderas he shoves pictures to mark. </p><p> </p><p>the pictures showed yumark on private datesat their favourite places. </p><p>them being touchy with each other.mark not going on gay-panic mode </p><p>even though</p><p>yutawas placing a hand on his thigh. </p><p>and the last,a signature favourite,</p><p>a kiss on the lips.</p><p> </p><p>"you see what you did,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/>
</span>lee minhyung?"</p><p> </p><p>"why?"</p><p> </p><p>and silence fell over the couple.</p><p> </p><p>mark stared at the floor,<br/>
like a student getting scolded by his favourite teacher. </p><p> </p><p>that guilty feeling.</p><p> </p><p>and he hated it more than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>"i guess,</p><p>it was all for nothing,"</p><p> </p><p>"hyuck,</p><p>please just listen,"</p><p> </p><p>"sure.</p><p>fool me again.</p><p>tell me those pretty lies,"</p><p> </p><p>"i like yuta,"</p><p> </p><p>"you sure are fast at changing,"<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/>
</span>haechan laughs. </p><p> </p><p>"but hyuck,</p><p>why don't we try somethinglike what norenmin are doing? </p><p>you know,</p><p>poly?"</p><p> </p><p>"you are selfish,</p><p>minhyung.</p><p>the three of them like each other.</p><p>but I don't like yuta that way.</p><p>and so does yuta,"</p><p> </p><p>"but we haven't tried it-,"</p><p> </p><p>"and it won't work out,</p><p>i'm sure of it,"</p><p> </p><p>"hyuck,</p><p>listen please,"</p><p> </p><p>"i've listened to enough of your nonsense.</p><p>get out,"</p><p>the younger's voice shakes yet is loud and clear.</p><p> </p><p>"please,</p><p>listen to me hyuck,"</p><p> </p><p>"don't make me do it,"</p><p> </p><p>mark closes the door so softly</p><p>that the door doesn't even close properly.</p><p> </p><p>haechan slides his back against the wall.</p><p>hot tears run down his eyes.</p><p>his chest tightened.</p><p>he could feel nothing but pain.</p><p> </p><p>" am i not enough for you?"</p><p> </p><p>the moment mark turns away from the door,he earns a tight slap from nana. </p><p> </p><p>"and you said you would never break his heart,"</p><p>jaemin whispers.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>he wasabout to hit, punch and even kill the older.</p><p>luckily, noren was there to restrain the younger one. </p><p> </p><p>"nana,let him be. </p><p>i want the markwe know back,"</p><p>renjun whispers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>but it was loud enough for<em>him</em> to hear it. </p><p> </p><p>he runs out of the dreamies' dormand his eyes find </p><p>yuta.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. a</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mark's hand finds yuta's.<br/>
yuta smiles at his seagull. he hugs him.</p><p>"did you manage to do what you needed to do?"</p><p>"kinda, thanks for waiting anyways,"</p><p>the younger one pecks a kiss on the older one in appreciation.</p><p>yuta touches his cheek, and he smiles so wide that his cheeks hurt.</p><p>but the couple weren't alone as they walked back to 10th floor dorm, where they resided. mark could feel a person's stare right through him.</p><p>like a knife through a glass.</p><p>he turns back to see jaehyun, who was eyes wide, head empty.</p><p>he gulps.</p><p>jaehyun catches up to them and swings an arm over the rapper, he whispers, "we have a lot to talk about mark,"</p><p>mark nervously chuckled.</p><p>they joked as they get back to the dorm.</p><p>yuta gives mark one last squeeze before heading back to his room.</p><p>the younger gulps.</p><p>he knew this would happen.</p><p>he should have thought about how he was going to tell the others about it.</p><p>he heads in cautiously.</p><p>he looks up to see jaehyun sitting on the bed.</p><p>he gulps. a shiver ran down his spine.</p><p>he plops himself on the bed, sitting up straight.<br/>
"so you broke up with haechannie?" he only nods.</p><p>eyes not daring to look at the older. trained to stare at the floor. the older sighs.</p><p>"please tell me you broke up with him properly. at least,"</p><p>"he screamed at me to get out of the room. i guess it's okay?"</p><p>his eyes finally looked up to meet ones who were filled with disappointment.</p><p>"and you decided to take advantage of the fact that yuta never knew about your relationship with haechan. if yuta knows-,"</p><p>"he won't hyung, i won't let anyone tell him," " you're underestimating yuta, mark-,"</p><p>"i know what i'm doing, hyung-,"</p><p>"no, you don't mark. i can bet you that within a week, he's able to find out what the hell happened.</p><p>but i'm even more surprised at the fact you're so heartless.</p><p>just imagine taking life support off a patient who was going to get out of a coma after 5 years,"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"i'm here,"</p><p>"taeyong hyung,"</p><p>taeyong engulfs the dolphin boy in a big, motherly hug. he looks at the smaller.</p><p>"haechan hyung isn't doing very well,"</p><p>jisung says as he approaches the older korean.</p><p>taeyong's mom mode immediately flipped a switch. his eyes attentive to jisung.</p><p>jisung directs taeyong to the sound of a sobbing fullsun and a very lost bruni who was holding a plate of food, knocking against the fallen sun's door.</p><p>"haechan-ah, open the door, it's tyong," the oldest knocks in a specific rhythm that only he does.</p><p>"hyung, he hasn't eaten for 4 days straight. he won't come out unless we have dance pratice or schedules," jaemin sighs.</p><p>his eyes overflowed with distress and hope for hyuck to open up.</p><p>the two head back to the living room as they sunk into the couch. noren joins them with cups of water and tea. chenji joins them with tidbits to share.</p><p>ot5 sits in the living room with their mom leader. at the couch. for a very important meeting.</p><p>" so when did this start?"</p><p>" 4 days ago too, when mark hyung broke up with haechan," and suddenly everything started to make sense.</p><p>those sad stares from haechan at yuta. haechan's breakdown during dance practice when mark casually pecked yuta on the lips. mark being unusually clingy to yuta.</p><p>but hey, at least yuta seemed a whole lot happier compared to his much depressed state after sicheng left for wayv. taeyong shakes his head. it was going to be a hell of a long ass ride.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. picture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mark was caught off guard. taken aback.</p><p>he didn't expect jaehyun to be this harsh. he didn't expect haechan to be like this. he didn't realise that haechan took it so badly.</p><p>he only saw that yuta's healing smile was back. and that's all that mattered to him.</p><p>because he missed it so much.</p><p>way too much.</p><p>he loved the way his eyes sparkled. he loved how straight those pearly whites were. the way nothing could go wrong because yuta was finally happy. </p><p>one could say that mark was indeed blnded by mere puppy infatuation.</p><p>no one was taking it.</p><p>even taeyong.</p><p>no one could comprehend how fast mark had fallen out of love with donghyuck.</p><p>the longest relationship in nct. the strongest relationship. the most approved relationship. the cutest relationship.</p><p>and no one would have thought that mark was the one that broke up with hyuck. and he left completely unaffected.</p><p>but left hyuck, with a very huge backstab.</p><p>" mark, are you listening? you better tell yuta about this. i don't care about how yuta reacts, but it would be better than him finding it out himself," taeil warns the younger.</p><p>" you do know that channie isn't doing well, right? even stylist noona noticed. and you don't even care," it was the first time mark had seen jungwoo's eyes so angry before.</p><p>" i really don't know who that person is. mark wouldn't just stop pursuing hyuck. and i know the real mark wouldn't have done something like that," jeno casually remarks to renjun as nct 127 passes dream to use the dance studio.</p><p>their breakup was the talk of town. and the problem was mark still didn't find it such a huge problem.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>taeyong stayed at the dreamies' till dinner because it had been such a long time since he had a chance to sit down and talk to the dreamies about life.</p><p>as the dreamies and bubu were talking about how to get haechan out of his ( or rather renjun's room ), a wild haechan had appeared.</p><p>"taeyong hyung?" pudu chan called out. dreamies plus one mom turned to see donghyuck, in his hoodie and bermudas.</p><p>his skin didn't glow bronze like before. it turned a sickly pale.</p><p>it was the second time, dreamies had seen donghyuck in such a wreck before. his eye bags were much darker than anyone had ever seen.</p><p>his head was hidden in the hoodie. the boy shrunk into a skinny figure.</p><p>everyone could feel the pain. the love. the sadness.</p><p>just by looking at donghyuck.</p><p>he looked so unedited. it didn't feel natural. he was a breathing meaning of a mess yet he wasn't alive.</p><p>jaemin jumped from his seat.</p><p>engulfing hyuck in a warm motherly hug.</p><p>comforting.</p><p>was the single word that described jaemin's hug. it was the only thing that had gave him warmth the whole week.</p><p>it didn't matter how many blankets he had stolen, they didn't give off the same warmth jaemin's hug gave.</p><p>he missed it.</p><p>he felt so selfish for making the members worry about him.</p><p>tears just started spilling. and so does his one thought.</p><p>"i'm so sorry. i'm too selfish," and as that record played on repeat, everyone's heart in the room</p><p>broke.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. my</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"so how are you and the dreamies? i haven't seen you talk to them for awhile," <br/>yuta queries the tired baby lion who was lying on his lap.</p><p>they were on their day-off. and they decided to take time to go a picnic date.</p><p>yuta had to help mark do the sandwiches while mark got the drinks. just like how haechan had to help mark prepare for their picnic date. </p><p>and they set off, to where they are now.</p><p>at the han river.</p><p>the cub looks away from anime boy.</p><p>starring at the people who were cycling and birds chirping.</p><p>the sun, even though wasn't as bright as it would usually be, was as if it was as if making an effort to continue shinning, like students trying to keep awake during math class in a warm classroom as the teacher continue mumbling about equations that won't help you in life. (I can't relate to anyone who lives and breathes in maths, please teach me)</p><p>yuta was concerned about the dynamics of the group.</p><p>everyone seemed to have a face of pity whenever they saw him, ever since mark had announced that they were official.</p><p>the group, just wasn't like their normal selves. </p><p>and he was even more worried over haechan.</p><p>he always had a longing in his eyes even as he smiled at the older cheerfully and cheekily.</p><p>he didn't know if it was stress from the recent comebacks or maybe the sasaengs or family or something else.</p><p>but it was frustrating when he couldn't quite put a finger on it.</p><p>like he usually could.</p><p>he had suspicions because he had heard of rumours that haechan liked mark.</p><p>like actually had a crush on him.</p><p>and that they dated for a couple of years.</p><p>but yuta wasn't very keen on finding out because it was probably just a simple gossip that SM employees needed from the lack of actual dating couples or maybe just to feed nctzens.</p><p>and everyone acting as if they had something to hide definitely didn't help at all.</p><p>it made yuta curious.</p><p>and curiosity kills the cat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"am I not good enough? why does he hate me so much? was i too clingy? i-," jaemin hushes the older one. <br/>and the the whole room is filled with sniffles, mainly the younger ones'.</p><p>injun hugs the boy.</p><p>rage once ignited was now extinguished by a heartbroken boy, who was so close to recovery but well back into the cycle of depression.</p><p>The very cycle that almost made dream ot6. for real.</p><p>luckily, the two youngest decided to get everyone to watch a Disney classic, Cinderella. because, who gets tired of classics? ( if u disagree, please head out before I wAck u )</p><p>and there was donghyuck. sitting in-between nono and nana, with injunnie infront</p><p>and taeyong in the kitchen getting some snacks and a chance to feed haechan because he usually vacuums the food away. but he has become so distant with food it's worrying.</p><p>taeyong sighs as he sees ot6 sit on the couch and watch Cinderella from the 1950s.</p><p>he was happy that the boys could spend their time together.</p><p>that they had a closely knitted friendship. this nostalgia of a happy memory — the pleasant feeling that makes your heart warm and you feel secure.</p><p>and soon, one could hear the soft snores of a pudu whose nights were no longer sleepless but rested with his other friends and his mother keeping an eye on them all.</p><p>no one could disrupt this without getting killed by pudu's mom.</p><p>lucky for young pudu, he too had a fairy godmother. and that fairy godmother just wants the best for him.</p><p>there was a rapid three knocks sounding form the door.</p><p>"tyong-ah?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. ❦</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>yuta wasn't very happy</p>
<p>when mark was indifferent</p>
<p>when haechan skipped lunch</p>
<p>again.</p>
<p>it wasn't the first time it happened.</p>
<p>in fact,</p>
<p>it had been happening</p>
<p>way toofrequently </p>
<p>that it was worrying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>haechan despite being an adult already,</p>
<p>was still a growing boy in everyone's eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>and he wouldn't eat except those times</p>
<p>taeyong caught him when he fainted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>those cheekbones were starting to pop out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>the way he</p>
<p>overworks himself</p>
<p>to the point that he would beat himself up,</p>
<p>frustrated over every mistake he made.</p>
<p>he would stay back after practice</p>
<p>to drill it</p>
<p>over</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>over</p>
<p>again</p>
<p>even though he was already</p>
<p>perfect at it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>and</p>
<p>everything</p>
<p>started crashing down</p>
<p>after mark</p>
<p>went over to dream's dorm</p>
<p>to settle some matter</p>
<p>that had been</p>
<p>bothering</p>
<p>him</p>
<p>for a long time</p>
<p>-thatmark didn't want to talk about-</p>
<p>and came out with red,</p>
<p>puffy eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>everyone was a mess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>jaemin was screaming,</p>
<p>renjun was trying</p>
<p>to get him to calm down,</p>
<p>jeno was trying to explain</p>
<p>something to chenji</p>
<p>but</p>
<p>it obviously</p>
<p>didn't work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"did you managed to do what you needed to do?" yuta's hand finds mark's.</p>
<p>and holds cheek in one hand.</p>
<p>the younger smiles earnestly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"yeah, thanks for waiting anyways,"</p>
<p>the younger pushes himself up</p>
<p>towards the japanese male.</p>
<p>and their lips connect.</p>
<p>small</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>full of infatuated love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>they have been dating for</p>
<p>over a month already</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>yuta was head over heels with the younger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>he was just so adorable,</p>
<p>dorky,talented and innocent. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>and mark was the one who asked yuta out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>regular huh?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> yuta was obviously very shocked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>but he could see that</p>
<p>the boy had grown more confident</p>
<p>over the past year,</p>
<p>nearing the end of the year.</p>
<p>from getting comfortable</p>
<p>with his touches</p>
<p>to</p>
<p>constant outings together</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>mark even calling yuta</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>oppa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>it made him feel flustered.</p>
<p>but he didn't understand why he felt so-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>guilty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>he felt as if he was taking someone away from another person.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>as if mark wan't</p>
<p>his</p>
<p>to begin with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>and he was going to find out why.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. with</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>taeyong turns to see a fluffy bunny, in a huge white loose white shirt and shorts, in his glasses.</p><p> </p><p>"it looks like you sure do need help,"</p><p>"yeah, please,"</p><p> </p><p>and doyoung walked over to wake them up one-by-one</p><p>to get them to sleep in their beds</p><p>so that their necks and backs wouldn't get strained.</p><p>unfortunately for them,</p><p>they were a bunch of deep sleepers.</p><p>so the older ones decided to just carry/drag them to their rooms.</p><p>but of course put them in their respective positions.</p><p>jisung tangled in chenle's arms.</p><p>hyuck tangled in jaemin's.</p><p>and renjun in jeno's.</p><p>they didn't really wanted to disassemble this adorable mess so they slipped a photo of it into</p><p>their albums full of memes before re-arranging them into their respective rooms.</p><p>chensung into jisung's bed</p><p>noren on jeno's bed</p><p>nahyuck on renjun's bed</p><p>they decided to separate them into the different rooms because why not.</p><p> </p><p>they at least they got jeno awake since he was a pretty light sleeper and helped to carry the different boys back to their rooms.</p><p>jeno picked donghyuck up, who was currently shivering.</p><p>his furrowed his brows.</p><p>since when did hyuck get so light?</p><p>he was already the lightest in nct behind renjun.</p><p>he held him closer to his chest.</p><p>he's such a babie, why did go through so much?</p><p>he could feel the rough outline of donghyuck spine.</p><p>he wasn't as cushioned as before.</p><p>this whole breakup was swallowing him whole.</p><p>he had to stop.</p><p>it was eroding him.</p><p>it was killing him slowly.</p><p>like a cigarette.</p><p>his addiction to mark is excessive, scary, worrying.</p><p> </p><p>donghyuck was slowly squirming around in his arms until he woke up.</p><p> </p><p>"jeno-yah, put me down. i can go back to 127 dorm, i've bothered y'all for too long.</p><p>put me down, i must be heavy and not worth caring for,"</p><p>hyuck says the last sentence quietly, biting his rather chapped lower lip.</p><p> </p><p>jeno shakes his head with a pout smile.</p><p>and places a small peck on his forehead.</p><p>"go back to sleep.</p><p>you really need it.</p><p>and you're really light by the way. dream will always be caring for you no matter what. and</p><p>gain some weight, okay?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"jaehyun,</p><p>do you know where's haechan?"</p><p>the japanese boy asked</p><p>the korean who lived in america for four years</p><p>as they walked back to their dorm,</p><p>hands holding</p><p>their cup of coffee.</p><p> </p><p>"probably at dream's.</p><p>why?"</p><p>the older asked the healing-smile male.</p><p> </p><p>he shrugged.</p><p>"i just want to ask him if he's okay</p><p>and apologise.</p><p>i don't know why,</p><p>but it feels as if it was something i did,"</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun was shocked</p><p>but he expected it.</p><p>you're talking about yuta, here.</p><p>he</p><p>obviously</p><p>would have figured out something</p><p>had happened.</p><p> </p><p>he shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>he really wanted to say</p><p>what had happened</p><p>but like what johnny said that time,</p><p>it wasn't</p><p>his position</p><p>to</p><p>say</p><p>anything.</p><p> </p><p>yuta sighed.</p><p>he was trying to get</p><p>answers</p><p>from all the members</p><p>but mark,</p><p>was always the answer</p><p>why</p><p>they couldn't say</p><p>anything.</p><p> </p><p>and that got on yuta's nerves.</p><p>he</p><p>hated</p><p>being left out there</p><p>to face the unknown</p><p>without a proper map</p><p>or</p><p>even a simple</p><p>compass.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"is haechan okay,</p><p>i mean he's thining out real badly-,"</p><p> </p><p>"and his cheekbones are popping out,</p><p>i'm really concerned for that boy,"</p><p>jaehyun gave up</p><p>totally</p><p>on trying to</p><p>avoid the topic all together.</p><p> </p><p>it wouldn't hurt to give a hint, would it?</p><p> </p><p>by then they were at the lift lobby,</p><p>so jaehyun</p><p>whipped out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>and was trying</p><p>to show a picture</p><p>to yuta</p><p>and currently finding</p><p>the picture of haechan</p><p>before after</p><p>this whole situation</p><p>to compare.</p><p> </p><p>he knew yuta</p><p>was</p><p>naurally curious</p><p>and</p><p>would peak</p><p>into his phone screen</p><p>so</p><p>he scolled through</p><p>his markhyuck gallery</p><p>in which had</p><p>many pictures</p><p>of their various dates</p><p>that</p><p>the members</p><p>decided to tag along</p><p>(without them knowing)</p><p>that most of the</p><p>other members</p><p>had captured.</p><p>a few</p><p>were from</p><p>his 97 liner<span class="Apple-converted-space"> groupchat </span></p><p>since they sometimes</p><p>accidentally caught them</p><p>on their 'friendly dates'.</p><p>a couple of forehead kisses,</p><p>wearing matching outfits,</p><p>acting like total boyfriends</p><p>and</p><p>matching watches and a bunch of other stuff.</p><p> </p><p>jaehyun smiled</p><p>as he reminiscences</p><p>the times</p><p>he was the markhyuck president</p><p>and</p><p>chensung being the vice-president.</p><p> </p><p>sigh, the good old times.</p><p> </p><p>and just like what jaehyun had predicted,</p><p>yuta peaked.</p><p> </p><p>and boy,</p><p>the shock he had on his face.</p><p> </p><p>the older cups his mouth,</p><p>eyes widened in shock</p><p>just as the lift door opened.</p><p> </p><p>"I'M GOING TO THE DREAMIES. DON'T TELL MARK. OH GOD, WHY? OKAY BYE,"</p><p>jaehyun releases a frenzied takoyaki prince to travel to the dreamies' dorm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>and caught a picture to send to doyoung.</p><p>he giggled on his way back to the 127 dorm.</p><p> </p><p>his 'get markhyuck back' mission</p><p>was finally in place.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>jaehyun, </em><br/><em>do you know where's haechan?</em>"<br/>the japanese boy asked <br/>the korean who lived in america for four years<br/>as they walked back to their dorm, <br/>hands holding <br/>their cup of coffee.</p><p>"<em>probably at dream's. </em><br/><em>why?"</em><br/>the older asked the healing-smile male.</p><p>he shrugged. <br/><em>"i just want to ask him if he's okay </em><br/><em>and apologise. </em><br/><em>i don't know why, </em><br/><em>but it feels as if it was something i did,"</em></p><p>jaehyun was shocked<br/>but he expected it. <br/>you're talking about yuta, here. <br/>he <br/>obviously <br/>would have figured out something <br/>had happened.</p><p>he shrugged.</p><p>he really wanted to say <br/>what had happened <br/>but like what johnny said that time, <br/>it wasn't <br/>his position<br/>to <br/>say <br/>anything.</p><p>yuta sighed. <br/>he was trying to get <br/>answers<br/>from all the members<br/>but mark,<br/>was always the answer<br/>why <br/>they couldn't say <br/>anything.</p><p>and that got on yuta's nerves. <br/>he <br/>hated<br/>being left out there<br/>to face the unknown <br/>without a proper map <br/>or <br/>even a simple <br/>compass. </p><p>
  <em>"is haechan okay, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>i mean he's thining out real badly-,"</em>
</p><p><em>"and his cheekbones are popping out, </em><br/><em>i'm</em><em> really</em><em> concerned for that boy,</em>" <br/>jaehyun gave up <br/>totally<br/>on trying to <br/>avoid the topic all together.</p><p>it wouldn't hurt to give a hint, would it?</p><p>by then they were at the lift lobby, <br/>so jaehyun <br/>whipped out his phone.</p><p>and was trying <br/>to show a picture <br/>to yuta <br/>and currently finding <br/>the picture of haechan <br/>before after <br/>this whole situation <br/>to compare.</p><p>he knew yuta <br/>was <br/>naurally curious <br/>and <br/>would peak <br/>into his phone screen <br/>so <br/>he scolled through <br/>his markhyuck gallery <br/>in which had <br/>many pictures<br/>of their various dates <br/>that <br/>the members<br/>decided to tag along<br/>(without them knowing) <br/>that most of the<br/>other members <br/>had captured. <br/>a few <br/>were from <br/>his 97 liner groupchat <br/>since they sometimes <br/>accidentally caught them <br/>on their 'friendly dates'. <br/>a couple of forehead kisses, <br/>wearing matching outfits, <br/>acting like total boyfriends <br/>and <br/>matching watches and a bunch of other stuff.</p><p>jaehyun smiled<br/>as he reminiscences <br/>the times <br/>he was the markhyuck president <br/>and <br/>chensung being the vice-president.</p><p>sigh, the good old times.</p><p>and just like what jaehyun had predicted, <br/>yuta peaked.</p><p>and boy, <br/>the shock he had on his face.</p><p>the older cups his mouth,<br/>eyes widened in shock <br/>just as the lift door opened.</p><p>"<em>I'M GOING TO THE DREAMIES. DON'T TELL MARK. OH GOD, WHY? OKAY BYE</em>,"<br/>jaehyun releases a frenzied takoyaki prince to travel to the dreamies' dorm. </p><p>and caught a picture to send to doyoung. <br/>he giggled on his way back to the 127 dorm.</p><p>his 'get markhyuck back' mission <br/>was finally in place.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao hi people, please comment. im lonely and i need friends and probably a therapist cause im so messed up :D  u can find me on wattpad and be my friend pls</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>doyoung knocked softly on his son's door, <br/>the beat of  his rap in boom, and tried his very best to open the door without it whining.</p><p>his eyes land on nohyuck cuddling.</p><p>jeno being the big spoon</p><p>and</p><p>hyuck being the ˢᵐᵒˡ  one.</p><p>jeno's head snuggled comfortably into <br/>the crook of haechannie's neck.</p><p>it was all soft and warm <br/>and <br/>doyoung was on uwu mode.</p><p>"<em>haechan-ah. take care of yourself okay? </em><br/><em>hyungs are scared for you. </em><br/><em>we're all very angry at mark. </em><br/><em>but you have to take care okay? </em><br/><em>you lose too much weight. </em><br/><em>you're as skinny as renjun. </em><br/><em>almost skinnier. </em><br/><em>please eat</em>,"</p><p>doyoung gives haechan's hand <br/>that hung out of the bed<br/>a small squeeze.</p><p>and haechan's face glimmered a tear drop. <br/>the younger whispered,</p><p>"<em> i have been such a burden to everyone i know. </em><br/><em>hyungs, 00liner and even chenji. </em><br/><em>why do they care so much?</em><br/><em>i'm not worth it. </em><br/><em>was never worth it. </em><br/><em>and will never be</em>,"</p><p>doyoung felt his chest tightened with a sob. <br/>he fought his tears <br/>like a boy against his abusive father.<br/>draining. useless. difficult. <br/>and a hidden rage.</p><p>he tightened his grip on the younger,<br/>and a small kiss on his protruding knuckle. </p><p>"<em>hyuckie-ah,</em><br/><em>please don't leave us. </em><br/><em>you are like my younger brother. </em><br/><em>i don't want to lose you ever again,"</em><br/>doyoung pushes his tears down as he places donghyuck's hand closer to the bed so he wouldn't strain his arm when he woke up.</p><p>he walks back in to the dimly lit living room. <br/>and finds a drained taeyong sleeping on the couch. <br/>he sits next to the older and sighs. </p><p>taeyong immediately turns to see doyoung. <br/>to check if he's okay. <br/>doyoung wasn't okay, <br/>and taeyong could see it even <br/>if he tried to mask it with fatigue. </p><p>"<em>do you want to talk about it?"</em><br/>rabbit boy nods<em>, </em><br/>his tears were starting to swell up. <br/><em>"is it about haechan?"</em><br/>he nods again, this time a sniff.<br/>taeyong engulfs him in a hug. </p><p>"<em>he doesn't think he's worth it</em>,"</p><p>doyoung sobs into taeyong's chest.</p><p>and tired taeyong <br/>just tries his best <br/>to comfort him even though his eyelids are droopy.</p><p>slowly, <br/>he fell into deep slumber <br/>in the arms of a sleeping doyoung.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. a</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>light was peaking out of the already drawn curtains.</p><p>doyoung woke up to the sound of  jaehyun's kakaotalk alert.</p><p>he rubs his eyes and slips through taeyong's arms to reach for his blue iconic block of technology.<br/><br/></p><p>his eyes widen in shock. <br/>a sort of bittersweet shock.</p><p>the image of a wild takoyaki prince on the run. <br/>and the caption. <br/>'phrase 2 of mission markhyuck'</p><p>he smiled. <br/>prince jung really be doing his part as the president of markhyuck.</p><p>"<em>doyoung-ah, </em><br/><em>what are you doing?"</em><br/>taeyong big round eyes stare at him in curiosity.</p><p>he smiled his bunny smile <br/>and handed tae his phone.<br/>he was genuinely happy. </p><p>he snuggled into taeyong's chest more, feeling the woollen material against his face, <br/>the rise and fall of his chest <br/>as doyoung played with the locket<br/>that hung around the older male's neck <br/>until taeyong gave back his phone.</p><p>taeyong stares at doyoung. <br/>he couldn't help but admire him. <br/>who wouldn't?</p><p>those eyes that spelt determination. <br/>he was looking at the bunny <br/>that wouldn't let go of his ice cream even though he was run over by a car. <br/>the same soft, <br/>glass bunny <br/>that was furiously fidgeting with his locket. <br/>he chuckled.</p><p>he sighed. <br/>"<em>so how is markhyuck going to happen if haechannie is still hurt?" </em><br/>the other shrugged.</p><p>"<em>mark has to realise, that what he did was wrong. </em><br/><em>it's their decision if they still want to be together. </em><br/><em>mark lying to yuta and haechan is the first mistake he has to realise. </em><br/><em>relationships aren't based on lies, </em><br/><em>you know,"</em><br/>the male looks up to meet tyong's eyes.</p><p>the latter nods his head. <br/>doyoung was always one of the wisest in NCT,<br/>a profound thinker.</p><p>"<em>i'm going to wash up first, </em><br/><em>you want to join?"</em></p><p>he shakes his head at the older as he continues to laze a little longer on the couch with the blankets and stolen plushies.</p><p>he was feeling a little much happier today, <br/>the news that yuta finally knew was the main reason. <br/>but the second, <br/>a little more subtle. <br/>because he finally got to cuddle with taeyong. </p><p>he always spent time with him, <br/>i mean, <br/>taeyong is part of his group.<br/>but <br/>this time, <br/>just the two of them. </p><p>he was happy that they now had a possibility of being back together. <br/>because mark, <br/>wasn't doing as good as he thought he was.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. beautiful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>yuta ran all the way up to the dreamies' dorm.</p><p>panting. <br/>and panting. <br/>and sweating.</p><p>he finally reached the door of the apartment.<br/>the door opened to reveal a taeyong. </p><p><em>"don't drop your coffee. and come in,"</em><br/>yuta was greeted with a warm motherly smile. <br/>it had been such a long time since he stepped into the dreamies' dorms. <br/>but he only had one mission, <br/>which was to know the truth from haechannie.</p><p>"<em>where's haechan?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"he's still sleeping,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"oh. do you need help with breakfast?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"please help doyoung. i'm going over to 10th floor to check on them,"</em>
</p><p>yuta chuckled. he just hoped that jaehyun finally decided he wasn't lazy enough to leave his bed without bed sheets. <br/>even the dreamies were asking jaehyun about it.</p><p>they exchanged waves and went polar directions.</p><p>"<em>hyung? where are you?"</em></p><p><em>"yuta? what are you doing here?"</em><br/>doyoung knew exactly why he was here. <br/>but he didn't want to create any suspicion.</p><p>"<em>i was thinking of talking to haechan. but he's sleeping i guess. so i might as well help you while waiting for him to wake up,"</em><br/>it was a very yuta answer. <br/>always straight-forward. <br/>no round-a-bout.</p><p>he nodded.</p><p>"<em>regarding?"</em></p><p><em>"him and mark. </em><br/><em>i don't get it. </em><br/><em>did they have a history together or something? </em><br/><em>why wasn't I aware of it then," </em><br/>yuta drifted off, <br/>thinking about the possibilities.</p><p>"<em>in the meantime, help me make breakfast. </em><br/><em>and maybe I can give you some answers," </em><br/>the male vocalist looked at him as he turned into the kitchen.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. suit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>the sun was woken up by the sun. <br/>her rays of gold weaved through the curtains and into the room. <br/>her slender fingers caressed his nose<br/>and covered him with her amber blanket. <br/>it was comforting, <br/>like a mother's touch.</p><p>he was pleasantly surprised <br/>by how his limbs were tangled over jeno's.</p><p>he tried to get up from his position <br/>but the older boy who was supposedly sleeping pulled him closer<br/>and snuggled into the crook of his neck.</p><p>"<em>jeno,"</em></p><p>
  <em>"hm?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"let me go,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"no,"</em>
</p><p>the poor boy was now trapped <br/>in those muscular arms<br/>of the sweet commercial eyesmile boy. <br/>he sighed in defeat.</p><p>"<em>haechan?"</em><br/><em>"yeah?"</em><br/><em>"your're not as comfy as before,"</em><br/><em>"huh?"</em></p><p>jeno's grip on the thinned frame loosened as the younger looked at him in confusion. <br/>the taller boy held his wrist and compared his to haechan's.</p><p>fullsun's was bony and small. <br/>the head of the left bone <br/>( radius btw for you people who wanna know) <br/>at his wrist was jutting out awkwardly<br/>like a sore thumb. <br/>his knuckles protrude even as he rests his hand. <br/>his fingers were now sleek and dainty <br/>unlike the usual chubby  looking, <br/>adorable child-like hand <br/>he usually had. </p><p>which was the opposite of<br/>jeno's veiny hand. <br/>it was sort of big but average size among the members. <br/>one could tell the amount of hours <br/>at the gym <br/>jeno did <br/>by looking at the veins, <br/>the muscles and slightly calloused. <br/>and it looked so manly. </p><p>"<em>mine looks so fat compared to yours,"</em></p><p>jeno sighed, <br/>he obviously didn't mean that.</p><p>"<em>haechan, your hand is skinnier than mine,"</em><br/>the other looks at the self-conscious male.</p><p>"<em>look,"</em><br/>jeno encircles his middle finger and thumb around haechan's wrist. <br/>he connected it easily, with much space between his soft tanned skin and his fingers. <br/>he puts haechan's hand down and takes his own one. <br/>his wrist is perfectly fit instead. <br/>without any gaps.</p><p>haechan whined,<br/>"<em>your bone structure is bigger than mine, idiot,"</em></p><p>jeno playfully headlocked donghyuck and <br/>haechan being haechan dramatised it.</p><p>jeno chuckled, <br/>at least <br/>he could distract haechan <br/>from the pain for now.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. ❦</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>where's yuta?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"oh he's at the dreamies',"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"wait, what for?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"to help taeyong?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"but doyoung is already there,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"ask him yourself. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>aren't you his boyfriend?"</em>
</p><p>and silence followed the conversation.</p><p>jaehyun has been rather mean to mark lately <br/>and mark was hurt. <br/>who wouldn't be hurt?<br/>if a friend you've known for so long <br/>decides to ignore you, <br/>who wouldn't be this affected?</p><p>and what's even more surprising was that<br/>mark<br/><b>misses</b> <br/>hyuck's cuddles. <br/>he likes yuta's constant hugs<br/>but <br/>he recharges when hyuck backhugs him <br/>like it's the final time they would ever hug.</p><p>he loves yuta's occasional pecks off camera <br/>but <br/>hyuck's kisses always made him <br/>flutter,<br/>flush,<br/>and <br/>feel<br/>loved. </p><p>because just when he thought <br/><b>someone was better than hyuck</b>, <br/>suddenly he wanted that person. <br/>because not even <br/>the mark lee <br/>is better than his own sunshine.</p><p>it was rare to even find a treasure <br/>like him<br/>in the first place. <br/>he was first annoyed at how <br/>someone<em> so perfect</em> <br/>could exist. <br/>how could someone be so good <br/>at everything he does? <br/>he was cold<br/>with jealousy towards the younger boy. <br/>but he was happy that <br/>finally,<br/>a trainee <br/>was just as young as him. </p><p>even though they started out a little cold,<br/>they became best friends in no time.</p><p>they were like a lock and key. <br/>when they were together, <br/>they unlocked some sort of chaos.</p><p>but it was the kind of chaos<br/>that Lee Soo Man <br/>approved of.</p><p>and soon they were unbreakable. <br/>even though hyuck had a dark period, <br/>mark was the one who was <br/>his main pillar of support.</p><p>but through that period, <br/>they came out stronger,<br/>and better,<br/>together.</p><p>and maybe,<br/>came out of the closet as well.</p><p>and official. <br/>to each other<br/>and to some of the 127 hyungs<br/>and the dreamies.</p><p>and now,<br/>it was all his fault that<br/>his sunshine was suffering.</p><p>and when the dork <br/><b>just </b>found out, <br/>his sunshine was already fading away. <br/>and just like the sun,<br/>he was slowly <br/><b>collapsing</b>.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. i</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"hyuck-ah, jeno-yah!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>come and eat breakfast,"</em>
</p><p>taeyong says as he opens the door to see <br/>the two in a tickle fight.</p><p>he smiles and folds his arms and leans against the door frame. <br/>it really had been such a long time since he had seen the dreamies being acting like their age.</p><p>they really did grow up too fast.</p><p>they were just tweens, <br/>finding their place in life<br/>and choosing a career even before they reached highschool. </p><p>a choice of a lifetime.</p><p>taeyong was caught off-guard when doyoung tapped him on the shoulder.</p><p>"<em>it's been such a long time since they were like that. sometimes i wonder if </em><br/><em>they wasted their childhood and teen years </em><br/><em>slaving in the dance room</em>,"<br/>doyoung sighed.</p><p>"<em>but at least they did it together. </em><br/><em>so their bond is also stronger. </em><br/><em>and hey, </em><br/><em>it was their decision to join. </em><br/><em>but look where they are now, </em><br/><em>global stars and well-loved by all they meet</em>,"<br/>that proud mother smile <br/>crept onto taeyong's face.</p><p>doyoung smiled <br/>with sentiment.</p><p>and their eyes were met with<br/>two boys starring at their boomers.</p><p>hyuck's arm around jeno <br/>and jeno's arm <br/>snaked around hyuck's waist.</p><p>starring at them,<br/>as if waiting for them to say something. </p><p>taeyong interrupts the silence.</p><p>
  <em>"come on boys, let's eat some breakfast. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>yuta helped and he's in the kitchen,"</em>
</p><p><em>"jeno, haechan, </em><br/><em>here's breakfast,"</em><br/>the japanese male came in <br/>with a huge tray with four dishes <br/>and five bowls of white rice.</p><p>glistening white fluffy rice<br/>that was slightly sticky <br/>so it held together <br/>when picked up with chopsticks.</p><p>the soup with egg and potatoes<br/>with a hint of dried anchovies, <br/>kelps and soya sauce. <br/>a real taste of mom's kitchen. <br/>and a slightly small test<br/>for those attempting<br/>to try mimic the same flavour.</p><p>the spinach with a hint of soya sauce, <br/>sesame oil and <br/>crunch from the sesame seeds.</p><p>obviously the next dish <br/>was the traditional cabbage kimchi<br/>which was lovingly made <br/>by jaemin and taeyong <br/>one day in the dorms during a break. <br/>it tasted very much <br/>like a mother's love and home.</p><p>it was that first time that haechan actually felt hungry. <br/>he finally gave in to his stomach's desires.  <br/>of feeling full.</p><p>"<em>jal meokkessumnida(</em>잘먹겠습니다)," the five chorused.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <em>his hand shakes involuntarily </em>
  <br/>
  <em>as he attempts to hold his chopsticks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>jeno gathers some of the dishes</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and piles them neatly </em>
  <br/>
  <em>into haechan's ricebowl </em>
  <br/>
  <em>with the swift movement </em>
  <br/>
  <em>of his metal chopsticks. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and looks up to see the younger boy's face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>tired </em>
  <br/>
  <em>was the only word</em>
  <br/>
  <em>he could describe his face. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>he lost the glow of his skin. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and everything just seemed darker.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>his lost baby cheeks. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>jeno loved pinching his cheeks. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and the adorable face he makes</em>
  <br/>
  <em>as well as the process of trying to </em>
  <br/>
  <em>get him to stop pinching his cheeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>cheekbones </em>
  <br/>
  <em>usually gave people</em>
  <br/>
  <em>a more regal and stong look, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>however it gave</em>
  <br/>
  <em>donghyuck a strangely fragile look.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but he still looked painfully perfect.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>it changed his aura completely. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>from a more lively, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>bubbly young boy </em>
  <br/>
  <em>to a more quiet </em>
  <br/>
  <em>rather gentle young man maturing.</em>
</p><p><em>a 180</em>゜<br/><em>change from his usual self.</em></p><p>
  <em>jeno shook his thoughts away. and realised donghyuck had caught him starring.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"is there something on my face?"</em>
</p><p>oh, <br/>so he accidentally <br/>made the skinny boy self-conscious.</p><p>
  <em>"yeah,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"huh, what thing?"</em>
</p><p>jeno scooted over and whispered,</p><p>
  <em>"beauty,"</em>
</p><p>and that one word got donghyuck flustered.</p><p>hella flustered.</p><p>jeno giggled. <br/>his eyesmile comes through. <br/><b>sigh, that beautiful eyesmile.</b></p><p>he rolled his eyes as he stared at his bowl of food.</p><p>that one scoop of the rice<br/>with the different side dishes, <br/>was a flavour bomb in his mouth. <br/>the different tastes of familiarity. <br/>the unique fermented sour taste of kimchi <br/>washed over his mouth.</p><p>he felt at home.</p><p>he felt</p><p>safe.</p><p>taeyong, doyoung and yuta cheered him on. <br/>and they laughed. <br/>and had a wondeful time with each other.</p><p>although, <br/>donghyuck was curious.</p><p>why was yuta here? <br/>hyung never came to the dreamies' <br/>unless he wanted to talk to someone, <br/>if not it was because sicheng <br/>always came to see chenle and renjun. <br/>but sicheng hyung has already left for china.</p><p>it puzzled him so much that as he ate quietly, <br/>his eyebrows furrowed unconsciously.</p><p>but dismissed it for the moment.</p><p>even though in the end, <br/>hyuck didn't manage to finish his food, <br/>everyone was happy that <br/>at least hyuck ate something.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. look</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>after the breakfast, <br/>doyoung, taeyong and jeno left the room to help clear the plates. <br/>they didn't want haechan to help.</p><p>and he didn't understand why. <br/>so he ended up all alone with yuta.</p><p>the person who he wished he could hate.</p><p>but unfortunately, he couldn't.</p><p>yuta may have been mean<br/>and wasn't one of the members <br/>who actually reciprocated his hugs <br/>but he was one of <br/>the wise old men of nct.</p><p>he didn't show that he did love the younger boy but he was always there<br/>when he needed advice<br/>or simply impromptu <br/>deep night talks about politics <br/>and really random things <br/>like how to make a murder seem like an accident.</p><p>he was really like the oldest brother of the family. and sometimes, <br/>a little foreign because<br/>he always hung out with the hyungs, <br/>while he <br/>always hung out with taeil, <br/>doyoung and mark when with 127.</p><p>he sighed.</p><p>"hyung, you didn't come here just to make breakfast, did you?" the younger boy looked at the older japanese male.</p><p>yuta placed his cup of tea down.</p><p>the older wasn't surprised. <br/>haechan was a smart boy and noticed things fast.</p><p>
  <em>"cut to the chase, hyung,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"were you and mark dating?"</em>
</p><p>and that really struck haechan. <br/>he tried to swallow his tears<br/>down <br/>before they could even surface. <br/>he really tried.</p><p>all those memories <br/>of them having late-night basketball <br/>and nintendo switch resurfaced. <br/>the times where they cuddled <br/>while watching disney movies<br/>using ten's account, <br/>ignoring all the adult movies that were recommended to the owner of the account.</p><p>his head hurt, <br/>pounding all from the mention of that one word. <br/>mark.</p><p>yuta <br/>halted.</p><p>he scurried over to the smaller,<br/>hurting boy.</p><p>he didn't realise the impact of <br/><em>his</em> name.</p><p>"<em>haechan. </em><br/><em>lookup sweetie,"</em></p><p>the boy looks up to see yuta's stern eyes.</p><p>"<em>it's mark's fault for cheating on you. </em><br/><em>it's my fault for being ignorant. </em><br/><em>but you don't change for someone who doesn't deserve you. </em><br/><em>okay?"</em></p><p>yuta's eyes soften.</p><p>he really did love haechan. <br/>he wants the best for him. <br/><em>anything</em>, <br/>for his <em>younger little brother</em>.</p><p>haechan nods. <br/>and <b>really did believe that </b><br/><em>maybe </em><br/><b><em>mark would come back to him.</em></b></p><p>
  <em>little did he know of those</em>
  <br/>
  <em>twisted fingers </em>
  <br/>
  <em>behind an experienced actor's back.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. happy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>renjun-ah, </em><br/><em>how's everything over there?"</em><br/>a wild jolly sicheng appeared <br/>on the screen of renjun's.</p><p>the chinese boy shakes his head.</p><p>"<em>everything is in a mess. </em><br/><em>yuta and mark are official. </em><br/><em>the whole of 127 and dream are against it. </em><br/><em>haechan is as skinny as me. </em><br/><em>because he won't eat,"</em><br/>renjun says. <br/>his eyes look down.</p><p>"<em>yuta's over me?</em><br/><em>that's- </em><br/><em>strange. </em><br/><em>and weren't mark and haechan dating?"</em><br/>sicheng's eyes widen. <br/>he covered his mouth.</p><p>"<em>yah, </em><br/><em>yah. </em><br/><em>renjun, </em><br/><em>repeat it for ten hyung,"</em><br/>the little thai male appears to have conquered the phone.</p><p>"<em>markhyuck is dead. </em><br/><em>yumark is thriving. </em><br/><em>everyone is crying and in a mess,"</em></p><p>
  <em>"i leave for a few weeks and this happens?"</em>
</p><p>the younger chinese nods.</p><p>"<em>yuta is going to get it from me when i set foot in korea,"</em><br/>ten clenches his teeth.</p><p>renjun gulps.</p><p>yumark was probably one of the worst decisions any of the two have ever made.</p><p>killing the main ship. <br/>killing another main ship. <br/>enraging the members. <br/>and possibly the czennies.</p><p>renjun gasped.</p><p>"<em>nana?"</em></p><p>
  <em>"yesh, injun?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"doesn't it mean that czennies will ask what happen?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-juST LIKE THE 2017 SUMMER FIGHT. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>OH GOSH. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>THESE IDIOTS REALLY DON'T THINK DO THEY?"</em>
</p><p>"<em>FEELINGS THEY SAID,"</em></p><p>
  <em>"IT WOULD BE FUN THEY SAID,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean, they're still asking for 2017 markhyuck summer fight reason,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's 'cause mark and koeun-,"</em>
</p><p>renjun starred right into jaemin's eyes. <br/>that mental facepalm could be felt from afar.</p><p>"<em>oh, so that's why,"</em><br/>ten comes to a conclusion.</p><p>
  <em>"mark cheats more often than i ever cheat in a test,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"ouch,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"but facts,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"tea? spilt,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"mark? dead,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yuta?  dead,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"haechan? hugs,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"hotel? trivago,"</em>
</p><p>jaemin and renjun hi-five each other.</p><p>ten and winwin, <br/>on the other hand, <br/>was internally facepalming themselves.</p><p>
  <em>"please do remember to feed him daily. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and maybe get him to eat a little more often,"</em>
</p><p>ten advices the two 00-liners.</p><p>they both thanked ten before waving goodbye.</p><p>now they had a mission to <br/>feed the boy.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. as</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>haechan was happy,<br/><em>for now.</em></p><p>mark was everywhere he went<br/>but he kept his distance.</p><p>but he didn't quite understand all those. <br/><em>glares </em>he was getting from mark.</p><p>whenever he stuck to <br/>taeil and johnny <br/>and everyone <br/>but him.</p><p>he was still hurting.</p><p>every<br/>single <br/>time<br/>yuta kisses mark infront of him.</p><p>it was as if yuta was making an effort to flaunt <br/>the fact that mark was now <br/>his.</p><p>at least now he didn't breakdown right there <br/>and then. <br/>now he just breaks down in the dorms,<br/>behind the walls of his room.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>it was currently practice.<br/>for kick it.</p><p>and later he had to go to ridin's photoshoot.</p><p>followed by recording ridin album.</p><p>and he was happy that it would be a fully-packed day.</p><p>he didn't have to worry about taeyong trying to feed him.</p><p>in fact, <br/>he was sort of happy <br/>cause he would be able to get around <br/>the whole day without eating.</p><p>it had been difficult these few days. <br/>renjun and jaemin has been shoving a whole chicken drumstick down his throat. <br/>and sometimes, <br/>kimchijigae.</p><p>
  <em>his favourite food.</em>
</p><p>but no matter how long he started at it,<br/>he just couldn't bring himself to eat it.</p><p>it felt like a huge sin. <br/>and his punishment was being fat.</p><p>and being fat,<br/>was the reason why <br/>mark didn't like him.</p><p>he knew. <br/>yuta was adorable,<br/>smart,<br/>philosophical,<br/>relatable <br/>and obviously<br/>slim.</p><p>that jawline,<br/>almost every fan would cry pools after seeing it.</p><p>that slim torso,<br/>a majestic sight that was blessed upon the world.</p><p>that healing smile,<br/>that no one was ever prepared for.</p><p>practically everything <br/>anyone would've asked for in a man.</p><p>he was the definition of a <b>perfect man</b>.</p><p>and everything he wasn't.</p><p>obviously, <br/>mark wouldn't want him. <br/><br/></p><p>he didn't even want himself. <br/>and he was getting tired of himself. </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>very</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>tired.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. ever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao hi peoples idk what im doing with my life but im busy downloading fancams because apparently they going to delete them :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mark could see the boy eroding <br/>right in front of his salad.</p><p>he couldn't understand it. <br/>how did he not see the signs?</p><p>haechan <br/>no longer <br/>looked like his usual self.</p><p>he kept to himself most of the time.</p><p>once they got back home,<br/>haechan would rush back into the shower. <br/>and came out with his eyes red.</p><p>and he didn't know why,<br/>but he never saw haechan near the dining table <br/>ever.</p><p>and even if he ever came to eat, <br/>it would be small bites at a time.</p><p>the more he looked at haechan,<br/>the more it seemed as if he was shrinking.</p><p>his soft tummy that he would always lean on <br/>slowly sunk in.</p><p>the light in his eyes were killed. <br/>but he kept on laughing. <br/>he kept on smiling.</p><p>mark couldn't sleep at night anymore.</p><p>his mind kept going to haechan.</p><p>
  <em>but he has a boyfriend-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but haechan has always been his boyfriend-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but he's no longer </em>
  <b>
    <em>his</em>
  </b>
  <em> boyfriend.</em>
</p><p><em>"mark? </em><br/><em>are you okay?"</em><br/>the voice behind him asked.</p><p><em>"just worrying about you,"</em><br/>mark said as <br/>he turned around to realise it was <br/>yuta holding him.</p><p>yuta noticed that face of disappointment, <br/>and he sat up straight.</p><p>"<em>about what?"</em></p><p>"<em>nothing,"</em></p><p>
  <em>"you sure?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yeah,"</em>
</p><p>mark was happy that <br/>yuta wasn't those kind of people who <br/>pressed the issue when he didn't want to.</p><p>so he went back to sleeping on his side of the bed, <br/>but yuta's arms snake around his waist<br/>pulling him into a back hug.</p><p>the older pecks him on the neck, <br/>and whispers, <br/>"<em>you can always tell me, okay?</em><br/><em>i'm always there,"</em></p><p>mark nodded into the pillow.</p><p>he wanted haechan to just come in <br/>and ask him if he was fine. <br/>stay up the whole night <br/>to talk about him <br/>worrying over the smaller boy's health<br/>and haechan eventually telling him <br/>that it's okay and <br/>that everything was just a nightmare.</p><p>mark cried that night, <br/>under the arms of a sleeping yuta,<br/>wishing those arms were haechan's.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. ❦</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>that same night, <br/>haechan was also having trouble sleeping.</p><p>he was restless with his self-destructive thoughts. <br/>and the need for more pain <br/>even though he had already done it for the day.</p><p>he wanted to sleep.</p><p>but he hadn't had any for a week and going.</p><p>his tired, boney legs ended up <br/>walking up to the 10th floor dorm.</p><p>and invited himself into the dorm <br/>since 10th floor was a mess <br/>and they usually didn't locked the doors <br/>despite taeyong nagging at them about it.</p><p>with a silent screech of the door, <br/>haechan entered the dorm.</p><p>and boy was it a mess. <br/>the shoes were utterly unkempt. <br/>bags littered everywhere <br/>the laundry pile was almost towering the the washing machine.</p><p>haechan smiled, <br/>that is <em>so </em>10th floor.</p><p>he placed his white mamegoma on the only chair that he trusted wouldn't fall. <br/>and decided to help with the laundry.</p><p>
  <em>like he always did</em>
  <br/>
  <em>when he was mark's boyfriend. </em>
</p><p>he ended up having to sort <br/>the different clothes by colour<br/>and all <br/>to make sure it wouldn't<br/>ruin the males' white supreme shirts <br/>or bleach the black balenciaga shirt grey.</p><p>he shook his head <br/>at the stack of untouched clothes.</p><p>and soon after, <br/>the washing machine finally started doing its job.</p><p>haechan made himself a cup of cold green tea<br/>to substitute for his meals for the day.</p><p>it was a nice way to fill him up and<br/>a way to chill from his thoughts.</p><p>he hummed to the beat of the washing machine <br/>as he whipped out his phone <br/>to enter whatever he ate for the day.</p><p>and so far,<br/>5 apple slices- <b>44</b> calories <br/>miso soup with tofu- <b>93</b> calories <br/>a bowl of rice- <b>150</b> calorie <br/>pan-fried salmon- <b>183</b> calories<br/>cup of cold green tea- <b>0</b> calories</p><p>
  <em>total calories = </em>
  <b>
    <em>470</em>
  </b>
  <em> calories</em>
</p><p>the boy smiled. <br/>he was happy <br/>he didn't go over his daily limit of 500 calories.</p><p>( 突然) suddenly,<br/>a swift motion snatched his phone from him.</p><p>instinctively, <br/>the younger boy tries to grab his phone back <br/>but stops at how close he is to the thief.</p><p>and even in the darkness,<br/>haechan <em>knows </em>that it's <br/>mark.</p><p>because he's holding his <em>beloved</em> mamegoma.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. how</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>should i continue my story?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mark noticed the sound of the <br/>dorm's main gate open. <br/><em>and he was afraid that </em><br/><em>a sasaeng finally had the guts to come in.</em></p><p>a shiver ran down his spine. <br/>and he slowly peeled himself off yuta, <br/>walking towards the door.</p><p>he slowly opens the door and knows that it definitely isn't a sasaeng. <br/>the white mamegoma on the haechan's favourite chair proves it. <br/>he smiles.</p><p>it's the one he got for haechan during the sm town concert in osaka. <br/>he pats it, and ends up cuddling it.</p><p>he inhales the clean cotton scent of the soft toy. <br/>and it brings him sweet, sweet memories of his impromptu surprise<br/>using the adorable plush seal to lift <br/>his boyfriend's mood of the day. <br/>and eventually throughout their stay in osaka.</p><p>he hears the sweet humming of haechan's voice <br/>that is somehow in beat with <br/>the whirling of the washing machine.</p><p><em>just haechan thingz.</em><br/>or like what haechan's nctzens say,<br/>"<em>haechan ace,"</em></p><p>he silently walks to the melody, <br/>which leads him to the washing machine.</p><p>the only light in the area is from haechan's screen.</p><p>somehow, <br/>it accentuates the lines and angles of haechan's face that he never knew were there.</p><p>he looked<br/><em>skinnier.</em></p><p>it was as if <br/>the hoodie <br/>was swallowing him <em>whole</em>.</p><p>the smaller boy smiled at his phone.</p><p>and he just grabbed it.</p><p>he didn't know why, it just fet like the right thing to do.</p><p>the smaller boy advanced forward to grab his phone, and stopped. </p><p>right infront of mark.</p><p>inches away from those lips he missed.</p><p>and suddenly he didn't know why but his shoulders seemed to jut out of the sweater, and it was strange.</p><p>the two stared at each other. </p><p>but mark quickly looks away, to the screen. </p><p>and it shows the numbers of calories donghyuck had consumed for the past 24 hours.</p><p>it barely touched the 500 calorie limit the other had set for himself. </p><p>"<em>give me back my phone,</em>" </p><p>"<em>hyuck, what is this?</em>"</p><p>mark opened his eyes. fucking wide. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. did</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>haechan was fucked.</p><p>mark had looked at his phone and hugged him suddenly.</p><p>tears started streaming down his face. <br/>he missed the older.</p><p>so much.</p><p>no matter how much he hated him, <br/>he still loved him.</p><p><em>"there's a fine line between hate and love, haechannie," </em><br/>doyoung once told <br/>the bubbly young boy, <br/>when he first told doyoung<br/>about his mixed feelings towards mark.</p><p>the smaller boy instantly breaks down in the older's strong arms.</p><p>
  <em>oh how he misses being in those arms. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the warmth. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the calming smell of sweet, sweet vanilla. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>that comfortable sweater </em>
  <br/>
  <em>he used to steal from mark.</em>
</p><p>mark hates how <br/>donghyuck's clothes <br/>are as oversized as <br/>how his clothes were on the younger. </p><p>he hates how <br/>the younger doesn't hug back. </p><p>he hates how <br/>he feels the younger's bones<br/>through the thick sweater. </p><p><br/>he hates how <br/>he doesn't fit nicely in his arms. </p><p><br/>he hates <br/>that fragility donghyuck gives off.</p><p>and he knows he's the cause.</p><p>but something in the vocalist crashes. <br/>he pushes the rapper away.</p><p>it's a soft push, <br/>but mark felt it.</p><p>he felt everything.<br/>from hatred to longing. <br/>from numb to anger. <br/>all in a small push.</p><p>"<em>give me back my phone,"</em></p><p>
  <em>"donghyuck, please. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>look at yourself, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>you're becoming a skeleton,"</em>
</p><p>he laughs with dried tears on his face.</p><p>"<em>i'm so fat, what are you talking about?"</em></p><p>mark doesn't understand.</p><p>his eyebrows furrow.</p><p>"<em>Wait, why are you wearing 2 layers? </em><br/><em>It's freaking 35 degrees,"</em><br/>haechan's head hangs low. <br/>he just wants to head back to the dorm.</p><p>"<em>no, it was freezing just now,"</em></p><p>mark picks the younger's hand. <br/>his fingers venture through every familiar ridge and valley of the younger's hand.</p><p>the tips of his fingers were <em>indeed</em> <em>chilly</em>. <br/>and his hand was <em>perfect</em> for human anatomy class. <br/>skin stretched over bones and joints.</p><p>long and beautiful. <br/>yet scarily thin.</p><p>but as his sleeves shifted, <br/>it revealed red lines dancing on his arm. <br/>some browns and <br/>others were paints of red, purple and blue.</p><p>haechan froze.</p><p>mark felt his heart squeezed dry.</p><p>"<em>hyuck</em>, <br/><em>what's happening?"</em></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. i</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah hi people<br/>im just here a little more depressed so yeAH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>he was in the dance studio overdoing it again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he knows taeyong would come drag him out in about an hour's time but he might as well make the best of it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he had been dancing for about </em>
  <br/>
  <em>two hours </em>
  <br/>
  <em>ever since practice </em>
  <br/>
  <em>had ended </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and the rest of the day was free </em>
  <br/>
  <em>for them to do whatever </em>
  <br/>
  <em>they wanted to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and his demons said that </em>
  <br/>
  <em>he slipped way too many times </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and how his right leg</em>
  <br/>
  <em>should curve in more </em>
  <br/>
  <em>when his arms were folded</em>
  <br/>
  <em>or how he had messed up </em>
  <br/>
  <em>so badly during practice </em>
  <br/>
  <em>that everyone seemed </em>
  <br/>
  <em>to be irritated with</em>
  <br/>
  <em>him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he didn't like the way </em>
  <br/>
  <em>he skidded across the floor </em>
  <br/>
  <em>because it looked awkward </em>
  <br/>
  <em>even though </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the cherographer had praised him </em>
  <br/>
  <em>for looking like a pro.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and taeyong ended up finding him </em>
  <br/>
  <em>fainting on the ground </em>
  <br/>
  <em>for the first time </em>
  <br/>
  <em>that day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>which was a total miracle</em>
  <br/>
  <em>because he usually never lasted</em>
  <br/>
  <em>that long.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he felt like a psycho </em>
  <br/>
  <em>for loving </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the feeling of an empty, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>squirming stomach </em>
  <br/>
  <em>and </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the dizziness from e lack of food in his system.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>even sometimes </em>
  <br/>
  <em>his demons would scold him</em>
  <br/>
  <em>for being </em>
  <br/>
  <em>this weak.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they scolded him many terrible, mean things.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and he felt so bad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they laughed at him</em>
  <br/>
  <em>for being such a weak boy and that no girl likes a weak boy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but who was he kidding?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he liked boys better.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>coupled with multiple occasions</em>
  <br/>
  <em>where he also fainted, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>they contributed to </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the current masterpiece of bruises</em>
  <br/>
  <em>swashed at every part of his body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and possibly with those times</em>
  <br/>
  <em>he got mad with himself </em>
  <br/>
  <em>for being such a failure, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>he made a barcode </em>
  <br/>
  <em>on his wrist to keep it </em>
  <br/>
  <em>there as a reminder.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>or those times he couldn't feel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he was just addicted to pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>sometimes, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>even he himself would laugh</em>
  <br/>
  <em>at himself for his strange addiction</em>
  <br/>
  <em>to his esctasy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"you're a real psychopath,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but at the end, even as the pain stopped. wounds healed,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he felt numb.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>so he did it again. and again and again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>hence, </em>
  <br/>
  <em>the red lines on his wrists </em>
  <br/>
  <em>that eventually climbed up his arms</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and some a plentiful bunch </em>
  <br/>
  <em>on his fat stomach.</em>
</p><p>and that all flooded into donghyuck's head at that moment.</p><p>"<em>hyuck? </em>"</p><p>mark's voice is mild and worried.</p><p>it's the only voice that <br/>pulls him out of his thoughts.</p><p>it grabs him him <br/>away from his thoughts.</p><p>and he realises that <br/>he's warm in mark's arms.</p><p>"<em>let's head back, okay?</em>" <br/>mark whispers into his ears. <br/>a soft kiss on his temple.</p><p>haechan doesn't do anything but <br/>nods as mark carries him <br/>back to 5th floor.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. let</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>their journey back is a quiet one.</p><p>it is filled with <br/>tired sorrow and peaceful hope.</p><p>mark smiles <br/>as he sees hyuck sleep in his arms<br/>as they approach the smaller's room.</p><p>he looked <em>so</em> adorable sleeping like that.</p><p>mark always loved looking <br/>at haechan when <br/>he power offs.</p><p>he becomes donghyuck.</p><p>he isn't his normal outgoing self. <br/>instead, <br/>he's controlled, <br/>empathetic<br/>and is an understanding gentleman.</p><p>he listens to whatever <br/>alien nonsense <br/>mark spills<br/>even though he doesn't believe <br/>in them.</p><p>he laughs at mark's lame jokes.</p><p>he makes breakfast the way<br/>mark likes it. <br/>he hugs mark <br/>when the elder's tired and cranky <br/>from having to handle<br/>being in 4 groups at once.</p><p>he lays the thin boy on his bed, tucked beneath covers.</p><p>with his mamegoma.</p><p>he remembers that one time he accidentally took the seal plush back to his dorm and ended up having a sleep deprived haechan the next day because he couldn't sleep without it. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>mark smiles at the memory of haechan pouting with his eyes wide when he realised that mark had 'stolen' his mamegoma, or momo as he had named it.</p><p>and he looks at his angel sleeping on the bed.</p><p>"<em>mark-hyung? </em>"</p><p>"<em>yes, sunshine? </em>"</p><p>"<em>please stay</em>,"</p><p>"<em>okay, sunshine</em>,"</p><p>mark slips under the same covers as well.</p><p>his arms hug hyuck's tiny waist that had shrunk to a current size 0, without a doubt.</p><p>donghyuck was always the warmer one when cuddling but now he had turned icy cold.</p><p>his fingertips are almost a worrying shade of blue and he's constantly shaking even though the air condition is barely blasting at 24 degrees.</p><p>mark traces the younger's jawline, eventually gentling tucking stray hair under his ears.</p><p>his jawline was visibly sharper than before and his previously poofy cheeks were still there but had slimmed down to reveal cheekbones mark never knew existed until now.</p><p>he kissed hyuck on the cheek.</p><p>and those eyelids fluttered open to show those pair of bright eyes he fell in love with.</p><p>his eyes began to water with regret.</p><p>donghyuck got up immediately, just to brush that tear off.</p><p>"<em>nonono why are you crying?</em> "</p><p>" <em>cause i realised i've been such a jerk, i don't deserve an angel like you. i'm-</em>,"</p><p>haechan moves forward and <br/>presses his lips onto the older's chapped cherry-tasting ones. <br/>they are familiar against his lips. <br/>they still fit well together.</p><p>and they retained it original feel of love.</p><p>he pulls away with <br/>his signature haechan smirk.</p><p>" <em>i guess some things never change, minnie</em>,"</p><p>mark flushes crimson <br/>and their lips meet again.</p><p>this time with a little more passion<br/>and with hands roaming<br/>under sweaters <br/>and combing through dyed hair.</p><p>their lips relearn their dance.</p><p>haechan's hands revisit their favourte spots.</p><p> </p><p>as the night deepens, it gets a little more heated as well.</p><p>but not to worry, <br/>no one got any pants removed. <br/>or necks with hickies.</p><p>the night ended with limbs tangled <br/>over each other <br/>and slightly swollen lips <br/>as mark spooned the boy <br/>he thought he had lost <b>forever</b>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>haechan was the first to wake up.</p><p> </p><p>and he got the biggest shock of his life.</p><p> </p><p>the very boy he dreamed off kissing and hugging was right beside him.</p><p> </p><p>he thought that it was just a</p><p>hot fever wet dream but there that cute boy lay.</p><p> </p><p>and he realised that everything that he thought was a dream,</p><p>was real.</p><p> </p><p>more real than he woud ever be.</p><p> </p><p>he hugs the other.</p><p> </p><p>and he doesn't want him to go.</p><p> </p><p>yet he knows that mark's cheating on yuta to be with him.</p><p>it doesn't make any sense but all he knows is that it feels so wrong.</p><p> </p><p>no matter how selfish haechan feels,</p><p>he's mature enough to know that mark's still not his.</p><p> </p><p>that mark's still in a relationship with someone else isn't him.</p><p> </p><p>and that someone is a beloved hyung of his.</p><p> </p><p>and guilt starts to swallow him.</p><p> </p><p>his tight arms around mark slowly loosen in regret and fear.</p><p> </p><p>and his spot on the bed slowly becomes cold.</p><p> </p><p>which was what mark woke up to.</p><p> </p><p>the sweet smell of pancakes and buttered croissants hit him awake.</p><p> </p><p>he had to open those crusty eyes of his.</p><p> </p><p>"haechan?"</p><p> </p><p>his throat was dry and sour from the night.</p><p> </p><p>but silence prevailed.</p><p> </p><p>he slipped his strewn shirt back on his bare chest and went with the smell fresh japanese soufflé pancakes,</p><p>the heavy scent of mapple syrup and</p><p>the oily smell bacon.</p><p> </p><p>his arms found their place around haechan's waist as the younger cooks.</p><p> </p><p>donghyuck flinches.</p><p>almost spilling the scrambled eggs.</p><p> </p><p>"woah, there,"</p><p>mark shifts himself away.</p><p> </p><p>"sorry,"</p><p>the smaller looks at him with sad eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"hey hey, it's fine.</p><p>it's my fault, not yours,"</p><p>his hands go up in surrender.</p><p> </p><p>haechan nods.</p><p> </p><p>he reaches for the plates above him,</p><p>on tippy toes.</p><p> </p><p>mark grabs the plate swifter and towers over the vocalist.</p><p> </p><p>it's cliché.</p><p>like a kdrama but without the cameras and audio system.</p><p> </p><p>it's cheesy.</p><p> </p><p>but that's all it takes to make donghyuck flush crimson.</p><p> </p><p>maybe at the sight of mark from where he was.</p><p> </p><p>maybe it's mark's bed hair.</p><p> </p><p>he can't really pinpoint what really makes his knees weak and his stomach flip a 360,</p><p>maybe it's just-</p><p> </p><p>everything.</p><p> </p><p>collectively and entirely</p><p>about mark.</p><p> </p><p>and it was a problem.</p><p> </p><p>and still is a problem.</p><p> </p><p>but this time,</p><p>his knees buckle for a different reason.</p><p>his head is lighter than a feather</p><p>everything was filtered monotones.</p><p> </p><p>he doesn't know what happens next but darkness welcomes him home like a father to his prodigal son.</p>
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